top ten things i hate about this particular blog post already, even though i haven't even written it yet

1. i really hate those blog posts where people are all "here are the reasons i haven't written a blog post in a month."
2. i also really hate the fact that i am about to show you a picture of my puppy. it just seems kind of like the internet equivalent of batting my eyelashes at you.
   
   
   hey guys i have a stick AND NOW YOU WILL FORGET ALL ABOUT AMY'S CALLOUS DISREGARD FOR YOUR INTERNET NEEDS. 
3. i hate that there are tonnes of other bloggers out there with puppies. even children! and they are way more disciplined than me.
4. i hate that i have to tell you this, but some days i would just look at my puppy and then i'd look at the computer and i'd think "puppy or blog"? but, i mean, really.
   
   
   take me outside take me outside take me outside 
5. i hate that when i am having a conversation with someone, sometimes i realize that even though i am smiling and nodding and pretending to be super interested in everything they have to say, i am secretly inside my head going "puppypuppypuppypuppypuppypuppy".
6. i hate that i ate the world's most giant hamburger and I DIDN'T EVEN TELL YOU GUYS ABOUT IT.
   
   
   
   this is a real burger that you can buy at a real store. for serious. 
7. i hate that by now you've all seen the full-length version of the beastie boys video, the giggling penguin video, the video with the talking dog and the bacon, and the lonely island video with michael bolton, and i have no more videos to show you.
8. i hate that i didn't blog about the election, the royal wedding, or the penguins getting eliminated by tampa bay in the playoffs. for the record: sucky, SUPER AWESOME FANTASTIC SPARKLE FAIRIES, and more sucky.
9. i hate that even as i'm writing this and thinking of a million other blog posts, i can't make any promises that i won't disappear again for a month. that's just how i roll these days, you guys. i'm mysterious. deal with it.
10. i hate that i'm going to show you another cute puppy picture. WHAT?
    
    
    i'm really excited we're on a car ride, you guys. i'm just going to take a nap back here for a minute.