Monday, May 9, 2011

top ten things i hate about this particular blog post already, even though i haven't even written it yet

  1. i really hate those blog posts where people are all "here are the reasons i haven't written a blog post in a month."
  2. i also really hate the fact that i am about to show you a picture of my puppy. it just seems kind of like the internet equivalent of batting my eyelashes at you.

  3. i hate that there are tonnes of other bloggers out there with puppies. even children! and they are way more disciplined than me.
  4. i hate that i have to tell you this, but some days i would just look at my puppy and then i'd look at the computer and i'd think "puppy or blog"? but, i mean, really.

    take me outside take me outside take me outside
  5. i hate that when i am having a conversation with someone, sometimes i realize that even though i am smiling and nodding and pretending to be super interested in everything they have to say, i am secretly inside my head going "puppypuppypuppypuppypuppypuppy".
  6. i hate that i ate the world's most giant hamburger and I DIDN'T EVEN TELL YOU GUYS ABOUT IT.

    this is a real burger that you can buy at a real store. for serious.
  7. i hate that by now you've all seen the full-length version of the beastie boys video, the giggling penguin video, the video with the talking dog and the bacon, and the lonely island video with michael bolton, and i have no more videos to show you.
  8. i hate that i didn't blog about the election, the royal wedding, or the penguins getting eliminated by tampa bay in the playoffs. for the record: sucky, SUPER AWESOME FANTASTIC SPARKLE FAIRIES, and more sucky.
  9. i hate that even as i'm writing this and thinking of a million other blog posts, i can't make any promises that i won't disappear again for a month. that's just how i roll these days, you guys. i'm mysterious. deal with it.
  10. i hate that i'm going to show you another cute puppy picture. WHAT?

    i'm really excited we're on a car ride, you guys. i'm just going to take a nap back here for a minute.


  1. I have forgotten about everything except for the puppy.

  2. this is my favourite blog post you've ever written.

  3. You keep talking about a puppy but I don't see one. What you have got there is a cat doing some dog cosplay. Don't ask me how I know that. I just do.

    I agree with you that the thing I can't stand are apologies from people who haven't blogged in awhile. I would prefer that you wrong one good post all year than to feed me balloon juice because you felt under the gun. You were gone and you just came back strong. Nothing to apologize for here. The only thing I realized is how much I have missed your writers wit and seeing a picture of a giant hamburger. I'll be honest with you also by saying that not having your snark around to joke about the Royal Wedding made the event just that much less enjoyable. Hope to see you back soon but I am happy you have a life and a cosplay cat to fill your time.