top fifteen quotes from the westminster dog show commentators 2: this time it's personal

guys, i am blogging with a fever here, so if these don't seem funny to you, just remember they are really, REALLY funny to me, and also to jason derulo. no, not THAT jason derulo, silly. that would be crazy. the stuffed wind rider cub that cory gave me for my birthday that i named jason derulo* who is watching the dog show with me what's that, jason derulo? you want them to stop making fun of me? me too, jason derulo. me too.

jason derulo also gets to control the remote when cory's not around

1. "what did gun dogs do before guns? were they just unemployed?" "yeah, they just hung around at the grocery store, and bought their birds."
2. "from this angle, it looks like a neopolitan mastiff" *as camera follows, from behind, a dog with gigantic balls.
3. "don't you think of a love bug when you look at him?"
4. "they want you to know that they do bark and they do shed and they do escape." "so they're not great all the time." "no, but who among us is, really?"
5. "to me it looks like something you should buy if you were opening a car wash."
6. "around my house, we think of dog hair as a condiment."
7. "they have the head of a lamb and the heart of a lion."
8. "the terrier is thinking 'if only i had opposable thumbs. i'd be running the joint!'"
9. "world domination. it's only a matter of time."
10. "they're kind of a canine-propelled rotisserie."
11. "the dog psychic told her that this dog was going to win."
12. "miniature eyes WITH LASER BEAMS" (said in a dr. evil voice)
13. "his name is 'poker' because he was purchased with money won playing poker." "well, he certainly doesn't have a poker face."
14. "this dog requires an owner confident enough to love a dog that openly feels superior to its owner."
15. "it looks like you could get great tv reception with a dog like that in your living room."
    

we all know who is really going to win

*in order to say his name right, you have to sing it exactly the way that the other jason derulo sings his name at the beginning of this song. otherwise he won't respond. CAUSE IT'S NOT HIS REAL NAME UNLESS YOU SING IT. omg, okay, time for bed.