halifax vs thunder bay

so for those of you who don't follow me on twitter (and why the hell do you not follow me on twitter? i am an awesome tweeter. okay, fine, i'm not. but maybe if you followed me, it would give me the incentive!) i might as well tell you that the reason i didn't blog for like two weeks was because i was in halifax being lazy. and lest you think all i did was eat and drink my face off, let me tell you this: while i was doing all that eating and drinking off of my face, i actually LEARNED SOMETHING: it's hard being from two places. so while i'm super happy to be home in tbay, i'm also super sad to not be in halifax any more. it's fucking BITTERSWEET, you guys. so here's a list to make me feel better. it's sort of like the list that ross made after rachel told him how she felt about him and he had to decide if he wanted to be with her or stay with julie. because everything related back to friends. always.

1. halifax has donairs. thunder bay has persians. advantage: halifax.
2. in halifax the winters are fairly mild and people bitch about how cold it is. in thunder bay, it's fucking FREEZING and people are all like "WHAT UP, WINTER? BRING IT ON." advantage: thunder bay.
3. halifax has a gap, an h&m and a bath and body works. thunder bay has none of these. advantage: halifax.
4. my house in halifax has a highway for cars going through the back yard. my house in thunder bay has a highway for deer going through the backyard. advantage: thunder bay. 
5. halifax has jake, stewie, and monday. thunder bay has riley. advantage: tie. it would take a better girl than me to choose between puppies!
6. halifax has lobsters. thunder bay has bears. advantage: tie (think of it this way: you'd get equally excited if you saw a lobster on your front lawn eating your neighbour's garbage as you would a bear. DON'T LIE YOU TOTALLY WOULD.)
7. minutes it takes to get a whopper in halifax: 2. minutes it takes to get a whopper in thunder bay: 42. advantage: halifax.
8. in halifax, other people cook for me. in thunder bay, i cook for other people. advantage: thunder bay.
9. in halifax, i get my hair cut and i'm super happy and feel awesome. in thunder bay, i get my hair cut and the hairdresser tangles my hair up so badly that she has to cut the knot out with scissors. advantage: halifax.
10. i have one sister in halifax. i have zero sisters in thunder bay. advantage: halifax.
11. when i told people in toronto i was from halifax, they were all "oh, man, halifax is the best!" when i told people in toronto i was moving to thunder bay, they were like "why the fuck would you do that?" advantage: thunder bay (just kidding, toronto. that's really advantage: toronto, for having such solid opinions about things).
12. halifax has clancy's. thunder bay has crystal. advantage: halifax.
13. thunder bay has all the stuff that i liked enough to lug halfway across the country. halifax has all the stuff that i didn't like enough to leave behind. advantage: thunder bay.
14. halifax has the atlantic ocean, thunder bay has lake superior. advantage: halifax (sorry, lake superior. you're the best lake around. but you're no ocean.)
15. thunder bay has a bunch of copies of what boys like in the local author section of chapters. halifax chapters has one copy of what boys like stuffed in between two other joneses on a wall where you can't even see it, even though every day my mom goes in and puts it facing out. advantage: thunder bay.
16. places you can have a sauna and a pancake in thunder bay: 1. places you can have a sauna and a pancake in halifax: zero. advantage: thunder bay.
17. in halifax, we used to go to the library to buy drugs. in thunder bay, the people who have already bought drugs and are currently under the influence go to the library to use the bathroom. advantage: libraries, obviously!