it's a frosh questionnaire! thanks rebecca!

over at rose-coloured, rebecca posted this questionnaire and i was so happy cause i've always wanted to answer one but no one's ever asked! god, i'm such a loser.

1. what did you do on your last birthday? worked at 4:30 in the morning (see previous blog post). came home, went to the scan for finnish pancakes. bought nhl 11. got my ass kicked at nhl 11. napped. hung out in my pajamas and waited for cory to get off work and bring me mcdonald's.

2. name something awesome about you that you’ve never been able to market properly. i'm super tenacious. like, i basically don't give up on anything, ever. i'm totally like a terrier! i think this is the most awesome thing about me, and is the main reason that i have the things in my life that i do. but i always feel like people don't recognize this and as a result think that things come easy for me. but they don't okay? god.

3. what book do you have to resist trying to force other people to read? miranda july's no one belongs here more than you. i know it's not for everyone, okay, i get that. but it should be!

4. how good a swimmer are you? passable. but, like rebecca, i can't dive! when i was a kid in swim class, my swimming teacher tied a rope around my legs so that i would keep them together while i was diving, and then i almost drowned. at least, that's how i remember it. so now i have this mental block against diving. a couple of years ago my sister tried to teach me, and i actually could do it, once i got past the mental block thing. but unless she's around, i just stand there at the edge of the dock with my hands over my head staring down into the water and looking like an idiot.

5. ideal pet? seven dogs and four cats. and a giant aquarium full of fish. oh, and a goat! specifically, this one.

6. if you don’t have to compromise with other diners or pay for extra toppings, what goes on the pizza? pineapple, mushrooms, and bacon. with a side of donair sauce.

7. can you, in your own estimation but also the viewpoint of the real world, sing? i am the best singer in my whole house. also, i was the lead singer of TWO DIFFERENT BANDS when i was in high school. one was my friend laura's brother's band. we played once, at a party at her house, but we didn't have any real songs. laura and i split a pint of polar ice vodka (oh, to be a cheap drunk again!) and i just got up and sang whatever i wanted while her brother and his friends just jammed in the background. the other was my boyfriend's band that basically broke up when we did. that basically signified the end of my rock and roll career.

8. what are you wearing right now? my dad's sweatpants, cory's hoodie, and a tshirt that rochelle gave to heather that i stole. yes, i'm a clothing thief. now you know.

9. when, in your opinion, is it appropriate to chew gum? any time, as long as you can chew with your mouth closed.

10. what book did you read as a teen that made you realize how smart and misunderstood and *deep* you are? zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance. for the longest time after reading it i was convinced that i understood the meaning of life.

11. what magazine would you never buy yourself but always sort of hope is in the stack at the doctor’s office? anything with recipes in it. or very expensive clothing.

12. can you bake a pie? i don't have to! i am lucky enough to live with the world's greatest pie baker. and there is nothing sexier than a man who can make his own pastry, trust me.

13. who lives next door to you? what is your relationship like? when i first moved in, cory told me her name was alison. but then later, someone called asking us if we knew our neighbour shannon, and cory admitted the only reason he thought her name was alison was because there was a wireless network in range called "alison." so then for a while we called her shannon, and then cory's mom told us her name was actually susan. so now we call her alisonshannonsusan. the only other thing i know about her is that she walks her cat around the yard on a leash. oh, and she has delicious garbage. at least, the bear thinks so.

14. what is the easiest way for you to learn a new skill? i have to figure it out for myself. if someone shows me how to do it, or walks me through it, then i will instantly forget it. but if i fumble around and try to do it myself, i will remember forever.

15. what is that book you keep meaning to read and haven’t, and feel bad about every time it comes up in conversation? i seriously can't think of anything. i mean, there's tonnes of books that i've been meaning to read, but none that i feel bad about not having read. there's books i pretend that i feel bad for not having read, for professional legitimacy: those stieg larsson books, eat pray love, twilight. but really, the opposite is true: if i had read them, i would feel so, so much worse.

16. what are you listening to right now? marjorie dowhos and barry third telling me the news.

17. do you remember what you wore on the first day of high school? if so, what? if not, substitute some other important day when you remember what you wore. i don't remember exactly what i wore the first day of high school, but i can probably guess: a baby doll dress, leggings and combat boots. i was pretty predictable as a teenager. i do remember what i was wearing the first day of grad school (which was also the first day i met cory): a plaid skirt, a black tank top, and flip flops. he was wearing shorts and a blue tshirt that said "house of foosball." ahh, memories.

18. what are you doing tonight? watching so you think you can dance canada and helping cory with his powerpoint presentation. maybe if i do well, he'll bake me a pie! seriously, this is what it's like, living with an expert pie-baker: the possibility of pie basically becomes your motivation for everything.

19. what’s the last thing you ate? leftover chicken enchiladas and a spinach salad. sadly, no pie.

20. why did you do this questionnaire? because i like lists, i like rebecca, and i liked these questions!

top ten things that suck the most about getting up at 4:30 am for work

1. it's actually still technically the night before. yes, technically it is.
2. the house is darker than you've ever seen it before. in order to not wake sleeping partner, you leave the lights off while you dress, not to discover until later that your underwear are on inside out.
3. the street is so eerily quiet you think for a moment you must still be asleep and dreaming. you are also vaguely aware that there may be bears.
4. you're actually pretty confused in general over what is a dream and what is reality. in this dream world, does a red traffic light really mean "go" instead of "stop"? you momentarily consider.
5. the only other cars on the road are police cars, who eye you and your traffic-light indecision with suspicion.
6. you feel like you should be going to the airport, as the only time you have ever gotten up this early in the past has been to go on trips.
7. profound disappointment when you remember you are actually going to work.
8. momentary elation when you get to work and the lights are off. maybe no one's there! maybe you can go home and go to bed!
9. profound disappointment, again, when the lights come on.
10. you spend your entire shift contemplating what fundamental mistakes you could have possibly made in your life to get to the point where you are required to get up at 4:30 am for work. also trying to stay awake on the toilet during bathroom breaks.

how to eat at a buffet

as those of you who follow me on twitter already know (and for those of you who don't follow me on twitter, HOLY CRAP ARE YOU MISSING OUT!) last night cory and i went to the chinese buffet for date night (followed by a trip to walmart to buy socks--so romantic). now, cory and i both have a love/hate relationship with buffets. on one hand, the thought of being able to sample little bits of everything before committing is pretty appealing, as is being able to put lasagna, fries, and ice cream all on the same plate (not that i would EVER do that. fries go on the plate with the nachos). on the other hand, we generally leave buffets feeling pretty grossed out and depressed. you might say this is the price one must pay for being able to make, if one wishes, an entire meal of, say, pickles and mashed potatoes. but i say if everyone just learned how to behave properly at a buffet then the world would be a far better place. and yes, i know that for most of you, this stuff is self-explanatory. but if it's on this list, then i've seen it happen. so come on, people. stop ruining it for the rest of us.

1. the number one rule at any buffet, anywhere and at any time, is FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T TAKE YOUR OLD, DIRTY PLATE BACK UP TO GET MORE FOOD. i don't care if you only had a couple of egg rolls on that plate. i don't care if you're worried about the staff having to clean up a couple of extra dishes. i don't care if you think that the water used to wash all those extra plates is going to be the tipping point for global warming. if i see those buffet utensils touching your dirty, disgusting, already-used food plate, i will throw up. and that makes things worse for you, the staff, AND the planet.
2. if, god forbid, you do take your old, dirty plate back up to the buffet, DO NOT SCOOP A WHOLE BUNCH OF NOODLES ONTO IT, THEN FOR SOME CRAZY FUCKING REASON SCRAPE THEM BACK INTO THE NOODLE BIN. and before you say "oh, come on amy, you're putting us on, that would never happen": yes, it would, and it did last night. and no, i don't want to talk about it.
3. also, even if you have the cleanest fingers in the world, it's not okay to stick them in the food. if you want to sample, put it on your plate first. if you want to know how hot it is, put it on your plate first. if you want to know if the baby corn is crispy enough, PUT IT ON YOUR FUCKING PLATE FIRST. also, kids: if i see you stick your finger in the cake frosting, lick it off, then stick your finger back in the cake frosting, i am telling your parents. don't test me on this one: the one time i saw this happen and kept my mouth shut, i have regretted ever since.
4. i know that the amount of food at a buffet can be overwhelming, and some of you might get overstimulated. but a buffet is still a public place, and there is no need to shove food in your face with your hands like a savage. maybe just try to follow this rule of thumb: if it's still on a bone, you can pick it up. otherwise, try using what we in the civilised world call a fork. make sense? okay, let's try a test. wings? finger food. noodles? not so much. ribs? go for it! hot and sour soup? YOU FAIL. also, try closing your mouth when you eat. you can breathe through your nose; it's not going to kill you.
5. if you are too fat to stand up, you should not be eating at a buffet. i don't care if the old country buffet keeps a person on staff just to bring you food to your table. the old country buffet has serious issues. and they're mostly because of you. THE WHOLE POINT OF A BUFFET IS TO GO GET YOUR OWN FOOD. end of story.

top one conversation overheard at chapters of the day

1. baggy-jeaned teenager 1: hey, look, it's pride and prejudice and zombies.
   baggy-jeaned teenager 2: god, that's so stupid.
   baggy-jeaned teenager 1: yeah, but it's better than reading the original.
   baggy-jeaned teenager 2: obviously.
   

stuff to brag about

i was going to call this list "stuff that's been going on lately" or "things you should know about my life" or something lame like that. but i'm not going to lie, i just really want to brag about stuff. which really is the true purpose of a blog, if you're going to be honest about it.

1. because i'm feeling super generous these days, i will start with really what could be the most amazing piece of news ever, and it's not even me-related! but my publisher-mate, alex macleod, author of the hot-off-the-press short story collection, light lifting, has been longlisted for the giller prize! it's basically the sexiest award ever and you get to dress up and go to the crazy gala ceremony and they put it on tv and everything! and clearly the fact that this is the most exciting part for me shows you how skewed my priorities are compared to the rest of the literary world. but seriously, i am super, super happy for dan, my publisher, who works his ass off constantly, and for alex, who came to my launch in halifax and was really really nice and had me sign his book and made all my single lady friends swoon. YAY, YOU!
2. although it's not the giller prize or anything, wbl has been shortlisted for the relit award, which recognizes the work of independent publishers. there are some really super cool people on the list, and i have to tell you that makes me feel kind of cool by proxy.
3. one of those cool people is chad pelley, who writes the awesome blog salty ink, and who has asked me to help judge their fiction contest. you guys, it's basically my dream job. i mean, i judge people ALL THE TIME for ABSOLUTELY NO RECOGNITION. also, if you follow the link, it will tell you that part of the prize is publication in salty ink: an anthology "alongside some of the country’s finest writers." guess who's one of those? hint: it's me!
4. if you live in thunder bay (which, according to my stats, is about 0.000001% of you) you should totally check out the walleye: thunder bay's arts and culture alternative and how amazingly grammatically correct it is. yeah, that's because of me and my mad copy-editing skills. and if you see any typos, please don't tell me or i'll cry. also if you're not from thunder bay, and you're all what? thunder bay has arts and culture? you should totally check out the website because WE TOTALLY DO, and it's not just bears on the front lawn. 
5. my story, "atikokan is for lovers," is going to be in the next issue of taddle creek. now i know what you're thinking: hey, amy, don't kid yourself, you're not from toronto anymore, how did you get published in taddle creek. well, i will tell you: it's cause i'm so awesome that they broke the rules FOR ME! and, well, next issue they'll break the rules for someone else, cause, well, they do that once an issue. but this issue, they did it FOR ME!
6. i made what could possibly have been the best stuffed french toast ever the other morning for breakfast. no, seriously, THE. BEST. EVER.
   
   
   i turned this...
   
   
   ... into this!
   unfortunately i still really suck at food photography, so you're not going to see my work up on foodgawker anytime soon. but hey, a girl can dream.
   

thoughts on premiere week night one*

1. how i met your mother - it was funny, but not as funny as other episodes i've seen. the part where ted and barney do the "high six" might have been the highlight, but we already saw that in the previews, so that was kind of poor planning. also, i'm getting sick of the whole "i'm going to make you think that this is the mother for the whole episode, even though you know at the end i'm going to say FOOLED YOU ITS NOT REALLY THE MOTHER and guess what? FOOLED YOU ITS NOT REALLY THE MOTHER!" thing. 
2. chuck - sometimes i feel like cory and i are the only two people in the world who watch chuck. seriously, everyone's all OMGHOUSEBIGBANGTHEORYTHEEVENTCHASEBLAHBLAHBLAH and i'm like, uh, chuck? it's like the oc with kung fu! gossip girl with guns! no, seriously, they're all basically the same show.
   
   
   i'm josh schwartz on a beach!
   
   
   i'm josh schwartz with a blazer!
   
   
   i'm josh schwartz with a license to kill!
   i get you, josh schwartz. you like it when the cute, scruffy, geeky-but-charming guy gets the seemingly-unattainable girl. who doesn't? and luckily there seems to be an unending supply of similar-looking boy actors in hollywood who can pull it off. but you know why i really like you, josh schwartz? it's cause YOUR CHICKS KICK ASS. especially sarah on chuck. i mean, in tonight's episode, she jumped off a building with a parachute! i know, i know, chuck ended up having to save her in the end, but it's usually the other way around, okay?
3. the event - remember when i was talking about how i was going to have to watch the event and then FREAK THE FUCK OUT about needing to know what was going on RIGHT NOW AT THIS VERY MINUTE and then promptly forget to watch it for the rest of the season? well, the first half of my prediction came true. stay tuned for the second part. actually, no need to stay tuned. i've already forgotten about it. wait, what were we talking about again?
4. hawaii five-oh - uh, whatever. it's on the pvr. i'll get around to it someday. probably. actually, we might just end up fast forwarding to the grace park parts: cory to check her out in a bikini, and me to see if she's STILL A FRAKING CYLON.
5. dancing with the stars - we fast forwarded through this because cory was worried that brooke burke wasn't on it anymore. but then there she was looking like a super cleavage-y grape. and we watched that cory in the house kid for about five seconds. but overall, the contestants this season are zzzzz. and it's clearly no contest. i mean, come on, obviously jennifer gray is going to win. she learned all her moves from johnny castle, and nobody puts her in a corner.
6. house - didn't watch it. didn't even pvr it. sorry, hugh laurie, you're still awesome but you lost me when i stopped having insomnia and needing something to watch at 2 am other than sabrina the teenaged witch.
7. the big bang theory - this show is dumb! moving on...
8. the giant-ass bear sitting on our front lawn - by far the best viewing of the evening. he sat on our lawn eating the neighbour's garbage for like, ten minutes. cory's mom drove up in the van and parked with her headlights on him and he didn't even blink an eye! when a big transport drove by, he did spook a little and try to climb a tree, but really, bear, who are you fooling? you're too fat to climb that tree:
   
   
   oh, bear. how embarrassing
   after a while, cory yelled at him through the screen door and clapped his hands and basically told him to get off our lawn, and he did! my man's a hero. except later, we went to take riley out to pee and he was two houses over eating apples out of a tree. so we ran back in the house and shut the door and I'M NEVER LEAVING AGAIN. true story!

*unless i get super inspired after thursday night's awesomeathon, don't expect a night two. 

top ten songs about ghosts

i don't know if we've talked about this before, but ghost is my favourite word in the english language. go ahead, see if you can say the word without looking adorable. IT CAN'T BE DONE!

i guess i could have saved this post for halloween, but for me halloween has always been more about dressing slutty and eating candy than about ghosts. also, randomly, on my drive home from work last night, my ipod played FOUR SONGS IN A ROW about ghosts. now, i'm going to go out on a limb here and say that they weren't actually songs about literal ghosts, but you never know. also, i'm sure the singers all looked super adorable when they got to the chorus.

1. anyone's ghost/the national - hey, did you guys know that i liked this band?
   
   
   this song is so good i'm DOUBLE posting it here. not that i don't trust you to click on that link. okay. i don't trust you to click on that link 
2. ghosts 'n stuff/deadmau5 - this is for those times when i want to have a little dp in my corolla. and dp means dance party. get your mind out of the gutter. the video is also ridiculous. literal ghosts on skateboards FTW!
3. walking with a ghost/tegan and sara - i love tegan and sara but i sometimes find it hard to listen to them. it's one of those time and place things, i guess. so if you're like me and listening to t&s brings back memories that you sort of want not brought up, or if you just hate them with a passion but really really like songs about ghosts, here's a white stripes cover to get you through these tough times.
4. ghost/fefe dobson - hey, did you guys know that fefe dobson still exists? well she does and she's making sort of irritatingly catchy songs about ghosts. although i will admit that the only reason i downloaded this song was because of the "gho-gho-gho-ghost" part of the chorus.
5. weighty ghost/wintersleep - don't let the upbeat music fool you: this song is sad. wondering "where'd my body go?" has got to be the worst feeling ever. um, also, wintersleep = haligonian = AWESOME. that is all.
6. ghosts/michael jackson - did anyone see michael jackson's movie ghosts? michael jackson plays, like, EVERYONE. if you haven't seen it, the video for this song is actually a clip from the movie, so it'll save you, like, the whole movie's worth of time wasted in your life. but mj does get bonus points for being an actual ghost. rip, you beautiful weirdo.
7. the ghost of tom joad/bruce springsteen - so there's probably a whole bunch of people out there who are all like, whatever, amy, you've actually only listened to the rage against the machine version, and you probably didn't even know that bruce springsteen wrote this song until you googled it five minutes ago. and to that, i'd say, whatever, whole bunch of people out there, it's like you don't even know me at all. and that, ps, this live version featuring bruce and tom morello is better than any other lame version you've ever heard, and gets bonus points for actually being about a real ghost.
8. ghostbusters/ray parker jr. - did you all see the episode of the simpsons when they went to the winter olympics in vancouver? NO?! well, you're in luck, you can watch it here. and when you get to around minute 10:05, you'll understand why this relates in any way to this post. who ya gonna call? ALBANIA!
9. ghost riders in the sky/johnny cash - when i was a kid, this song scared the crap out of me. in fact, i think because of this song i was also scared of johnny cash for a long time, too. i can remember lying in bed on rainy cottage nights and swearing that i could hear someone outside my window wailing "yippi i ohhhhh... yippi i ayyyyyy..." come on, that's terrifying! of course, i was also really scared of spiderman, so maybe i'm not the greatest judge of what is scary.
10. unchained melody/the righteous brothers - okay, fine, this song is not about a ghost. but what is the first word that comes to your mind when you hear it? that's right. say it. GHOST. you look adorable.

ways to impress me on date night

1. make supper
   
   
   pizza from little caesar's: five dollars. burgers from mcdonald's, $1.29. surprising your girlfriend with the fictional PIZZABURGER: priceless 
2. bring out nostalgic breakfast potatoes for dessert
   
3. get a movie
4. don't gloat too much when you ONCE AGAIN kick my ass at nhl 11
5. basically pass out in front of the tv after completely ridiculous sodium intake

top one conversation overheard at chapters of the day

1. emo kid one: so yeah, it's my birthday.
   emo kid two: happy birthday, son.
   emo kid one: uh, thanks... father?
   emo kid two: ha ha, no, you know, son. like, what up, son?
   emo kid one: oh.
   
   awkward silence
   

how to build the world's most dangerous backyard waterslide

it doesn't look that menacing while it's dry

1. pump water from lake to reservoir built on camp deck
2. place person on tube in reservoir and wait for it to fill
   
   
   chase is way more patient than me 
3. raise gate and flush person down slide to lake
   
   
   um, WHEE! 
4. decide reservoir is too small, so build it up so it holds about ten times more volume
5. send adventurous but unsuspecting cousin's girlfriend down first to test it out
6. if the test run is successful, send substantially larger cousin down next
   
   
   he might go a little bit faster than the seven year old girl 
7. if this is unsuccessful (ie. if he plows into the lake at top speed, digs in, and flips the tube, resulting in a scraped-up back, a sore tailbone, and several days worth of whining), decide that you need to build a ramp at the bottom to help the tube transition more smoothly.
8. decide that the best way to test this out is by sending both cousin and girlfriend down on the tube at the same time.
9. laugh maniacally when tube flips, girlfriend lands on head on the bottom of the lake, and cousin lands on top of girlfriend.
10. float around the lake for a little while, then go sit in the sauna.
see you next year, summer

on this day in history

1. 1000 - the battle of svalder
2. 1543 - mary stuart crowned queen of scots
3. 1754 - captain bligh is born
4. 1776 - the united states names itself the united states
5. 1885 - louis riel's appeal gets rejected
6. 1947 - first computer bug discovered
7. 1948 - north korea is created
8. 1956 - elvis appears on ed sullivan for the first time and scandalizes america
9. 1960 - hugh grant is born
10. 1965 - sandy koufax pitches a perfect game
11. 1971 - gordie howe announces his retirement
12. 1976 - mao zedong dies
13. 1983 - radio shack announces colour computer
14. 1992 - howard stern appears on mtv awards as "fartman"
15. 1995 - chynna phillips marries william baldwin
16. 1996 - mario lemieux signs a one-year, ten million dollar contract with the penguins
17. 2004 - bombing of the australian embassy in jakarta
18. 2010 - amy celebrates her birthday by eating pancakes and napping. oh, and getting her ass kicked at nhl 11. apparently all that stick-breaking has not improved my game.

top ten things this duck could be thinking

1. i wonder what i should do for supper: swim around in the pond with my bum in the air or sit here on the grass and wait for people to feed me bread?
2. i am pretty sick of bottom-of-the-pond scum. and maybe it will be some kind of delicious bread. like rye or pumpernickel.
3. i really hope that homeless guy doesn't eat me for dinner.
4. although if i were him, i'd probably go for it. i probably taste delicious.
5. i hope no one gets mad that i pooped all over the pathway. it wasn't me, anyway. it was those fucking geese!
6. that statue over there is really quite ridiculous.
7. i wonder where i could get a jaunty little sailor hat like donald's.
8. i wish those people would stop trying to pet me. i'm a fucking duck!
9. and please don't take my picture. my feathers are a mess.
10. quack. quack, quack, quack. there, happy?

top ten most disturbing things about this photograph

1. first of all, the look on that animal's face
2. the size of that animal's tits
3. the fact that i don't even know what kind of animal that is
4. the fact that those children are naked
5. the fact that THOSE NAKED CHILDREN ARE APPARENTLY DRINKING MILK FROM THE GIANT TITS OF THIS MYSTERY ANIMAL
6. the fact that someone thought this was appropriate for public display
7. the fact that someone not only thought this was appropriate for public display, but that someone thought this was the best way for italy to be represented in the soroptimist international friendship gardens.
8. just as a comparison, here is a picture of the polish monument. yup. italian monument, polish monument. italian monument, polish monument.
9. the fact that there was a couple making out on the grass right behind the statue. 
10. apparently the animal is actually a wolf, the naked children are remus and romulus, and the original statue was a gift from rome and was stolen. i don't know, you guys, maybe i just don't get art, but this doesn't really explain anything for me. but it does make me laugh to think that there's a bunch of lakehead students out there who are using that statue as a bong.

things i like

yeah, i like some things, i guess. like thing things. inanimate objects. as opposed to all those animate objects i have kicking around.

1. my cheese grater - usually when cory and i go to ikea, it goes something like this: cory's all IWANTTHISIWANTTHISOMGIWANTTHIS! (albeit in the most adorable way) and i'm all hey, let's take hilarious pictures of you sitting in the little fake rooms and reenacting scenes from popular movies:
   
   
   mom! the meatloaf!
   so yeah, other than riding on the dollies in the warehouse and fifty cent hotdogs, there's not a whole lot about ikea that i could get excited about. that is, until i met the love of my life, the griller cheese grater. HELL YEAH i own a nine dollar cheese grater, bitches, and if i could only save one thing during a house fire you can fucking bet i'd save that plucky little grater. did you not read the description? that's 12cm x 7cm x 26cm of PURE POLYPROPYLENE, SYNTHETIC RUBBER, AND STAINLESS STEEL! whatever. i grate a lot of cheese, okay?
2. hotel soap - embarrassing story of the day: when i was a kid, i used to collect soap. straight up soap. ivory soap, dove soap, handmade beeswax soap, hotel soap, soap carved into little shells from restaurant bathrooms, didn't matter. if you could wash with it, it made it into the box. these days i am far more discerning: i'm strictly a hotel soap kind of girl. i've got everything from all the cute little bottles of bath and body works shower gel they give you at the edgewater to those fancy mexican-resort-branded lotions to all the soaps that cory stole for me from various weirdo hotels he stayed in while he was traveling around northwestern ontario for work a few years ago (what can i say? he's clearly my soul mate). no, i probably wouldn't save them in a fire. and yes, opening the box basically makes me want to vomit. but at least it's not a box full of irish spring.
3. my laptop - is a piece of crap. as i am sitting here, it is a) burning my leg, b) plugged in cause the battery only  runs for about fifteen minutes, c) requiring me to use an external keyboard because the e and d are gummed up, d) giving me the little evil vista blue spinny wheel thing every time i try to switch applications, and e) generally being a pain in my ass. but it is also a) the thing i wrote my book on, b) the thing i write my blog on, c) the thing i talked to cory on all the time before we lived together, d) the thing i watched movies on when i didn't have a dvd player, e) covered in hello kitty stickers and f) the only thing i've got. plus i suck at backing up, so if the laptop dies, basically i do, too.
   
   
   this post is in the picture that i posted in this post! i'm sorry if that just totally blew your mind. 
4. my giant black onyx ring - when i was working at south of the border and that ring came into the store we were all like, holy shit, you guys, that is the most ridiculous ring ever! and we all tried it on and laughed at how big it was. but then i would find myself sneaking into the jewellery case when it wasn't busy and trying it on again and not laughing at all. and then finally i was like fuck you guys, i'm buying that giant ridiculous ring cause IT'S AWESOME! and now i wear it all the time, even though i had to wrap duct tape around the inside of it after i got sick and my fingers got skinny and i kept inadvertantly flinging it across the room while i was talking with my hands.
5. my hockey stick - here's a mini list of presents i've gotten from cory over the years: a) a whole cd collection's worth of burned cds after i lost all mine, b) a futureshop gift card, c) a nerf bow and arrow, d) a stuffed snow leopard, e) a coffee maker, f) a computer mouse, g) a whole cd collection's worth of music on a memory stick after the burned cds got stolen out of my car, h) riley 2, i) a razor with built-in shaving cream, j) play doh, k) sims 3, l) a donkey kong figurine and m) trivial pursuit for xbox. so obviously he pretty much knows me better than anyone, and all of those things are things i like. but the present i like the most out of all of them is my hockey stick. there's a lot of reasons for this: it's an ovechkin stick, which i find delightfully ironic; it came with pink hockey tape; i was with him when he got it and it wouldn't fit in the trunk to hide it, so he just threw it in the backseat with the other hockey sticks and hoped i wouldn't notice (which i didn't); and because of all the hockey-playing guys i've dated he is the first one to ever take me to the rink.
   
6. my car - we've been over this before: i love driving. which is maybe why i love thunder bay so much, because in thunder bay you basically can't get anywhere without driving. seriously, cory once calculated that it would take me something like two and a half hours to get to work on the bus. keep in mind THE BUS STOP IS AT THE END OF OUR DRIVEWAY. but also, lola took me from halifax to thunder bay without bitching, has been a place to eat, a place to sleep, a place to... well, other stuff. she has lived on the mean streets of toronto and conquered the gravel roads of the north (like our driveway). she has been cleaned twice in the entire time i've owned her (thanks, lindsay! thanks, adam!) and has a big scratch down her passenger side door when i had to make a quick decision to either hit a post or hit another car (i still think i made the right decision). she is silver, but my mom still maintains she is "actually platinum." i prefer to sit in her back seat than sit in the staff room at work on my breaks, and no matter how loud i crank the music, i still have never blown a speaker. so i just want you to know, lola, that if you threw a party and invited everyone you knew, you would see the biggest gift would be from me, and the card attached would say thank you for being a friend.
7. my camera - i almost forgot! one time my camera broke and so i went to black's 8and was all hey guy, my camera is not healthy and he was like sorry but that's because of something you did and canon will not fix it for free and then i cried and so he was like well, maybe they will fix it for free and guess what? they totally fixed it for free. i don't know what kind of lesson i was supposed to learn there, but i think it should be TAKE BETTER CARE OF YOUR STUFF, AMY and not YOU CAN GET WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH TEARS AND CLEAVAGE. although i gotta tell you, i still am really, really bad at taking care of my stuff.