seriously... it's hard to settle for popcorn when you're faced with the temptation of fries, cheese and gravy.
- alice in wonderland (march 5, 2010) - i've always felt a kind of kinship with alice. when i was a kid (probably 9 or 10, now that i think about it, since that's when i learned to read), my mom gave me copies of alice's adventures in wonderland and through the looking glass that had belonged to her when she was a kid, and i can remember crying my eyes out at the walrus and the carpenter (those poor, poor little oysters!), and being terrified of the jabberwock (the whole time i was trying to memorize the poem cause, well, that's what i did.) i also kind of had a crush on the chesire cat, although i have a feeling after i see the movie i'll have more of a crush on the mad hatter.
well, maybe not
also (and this is one of my greatest claims to fame), in university my friend jen and i did a summer study program at corpus christi college in oxford, which is where lewis carroll, lecherous tenured professor, first saw the dean's daughter, alice, frolicking in the garden below his window. so, as you guys can imagine, i then totally had to frolic in that garden, too.
we also might have frolicked in a pub or two okay, i'm totally digressing here -- my point is, i love alice in wonderland and i think it's brutally dark and weird and funny and i'm feeling pretty confident that tim burton can pull that off.
- hot tub time machine (march 26, 2010) - this is the movie whose trailer was the genesis of this list. HOT. TUB. TIME. MACHINE! do i really have to say anything else?!
don't be put off by the misspelling in the title. it's still funny!
- date night (april 9, 2010) - so i'm kind of on the fence about this one. i mean, on one hand, you've got tina fey and steve carell. tina fey and steve carell! there's no way you can go wrong! it's like a dream team made on thursday night nbc (or, as we like to call it "good tv night")! on the other hand, the trailer looks, well, strange.
strange as in, okay, it was kind of funny and action-y, but it doesn't really seem like they're using tina fey and steve carell for all their tina-fey-and-steve-carell-ness. but still, i'm hoping it's just one of those movies that they just weren't sure how to market, and therefore decided to just throw in a bunch of car chases and mother-in-law jokes, slap some nickelback on that sucker, and call it a day.
- the a team (june 11, 2010) - my analysis of the central thesis of the a-team movie breaks down thusly: can anyone play mr. t other than mr. t? i'll admit i have a newfound fondness for the fool-pitier since he started throwing mohawk grenades at gnomes, and mma star and apparent wannabe criminal quinton "rampage" jackson seems like kind of a d-bag. but from the pictures i've seen, it looks like they may manage to bring the 80s a-team vibe into the whatever-decade-we're-in-now without going off the deep end, miami-vice-style. also, i guess bradley cooper looks pretty good.
uh, yeah, what was i talking about again? mr. who?
- toy story 3 (june 18, 2010) - how can you not love toy story? i mean, i'm not assuming you don't -- in fact, i would more likely assume that you do, and that you're just as psyched to see this in 3d as i am (i admit, i just like the big glasses), and i don't have to say anything else to convince you. but i will anyway, by telling you a story, oddly enough, about et. i came to et very late in life, and i blame it on coke (or maybe pepsi, i can't remember which). we had sent away our bottle-cap liners or labels or whatever it was to get our free vhs copy of et a couple of years after it came out (i hadn't seen it in the theatre cause i thought it looked too scary) and that free vhs copy sat on top of our vcr gathering dust for a couple of more years after that. when we finally decided to watch it, we popped the tape in and it was blank. blank! defeated on all (well, my only) attempts to watch it, i gave up and moved on with my life - presumably to john hughes movies and dirty dancing, bad comedies, pretentious art house films that i pretended to understand, and a burgeoning obsession with james bond. i never realized what an important cultural/generational moment i had missed out on until my friends started finding out i had never seen it and i became known to all as "the girl who has never seen et." as in "hey, meet my friend amy. she's in my english class and she's never seen et," and after a while this became so entrenched in my identity that i didn't even really want to see it. finally, one of my boyfriends basically tied me to a chair and made me watch it. and i cried. and i cried and cried and cried and felt like i was finally part of something, something big, something monumental, something that belonged to us, and only us, and it was huge and beautiful and important and suddenly i was included, and all my hopes and fears and dreams all culminated in that one true moment of cinematic excellence, and it was good.
i get it now! really.
so, yeah. the first time i saw toy story was nothing like that. but it was a lot later in life than i probably ought to have seen it. and it was good. and i was happy that tim allen still had something to do.
- ramona and beezus (july 23, 2010) - i'm pretty sure someone designated this year as "the year to make movies based on amy's favourite childhood books" (because clearly there's someone in hollywood whose sole job it is to study me and my diverse tastes and interests, because i have my finger so firmly on the pulse of a generation!) did anyone else read/love these books? i was a little worried when i read that selena gomez was going to play beezus (i'm so totally on team demi) but the little one they cast as ramona is bordering on illegally cute, as is josh duhamel (albeit in a very different way). so really, there's something for everyone.
- step up 3d (august 6, 2010) - given the fact that, as you all already probably know, i will watch anything that has even the remotest chance of having the actors break into a choreographed dance routine, i guess i don't really have to explain why i want to see this. what you don't know is, secretly i am writing a script for a dance film in which the untrained but passionate dancer lead who teaches the technically brilliant but uptight dancer lead how to love again is going to be played by me. watch for it in theatres... uh, on dvd... oh, okay, fuck it, in my living room.
- scott pilgrim vs. the world (august 13, 2010) - based on the graphic novel series by canadian cartoonist bryan lee o'malley, starring canadian quintessential awkward teen michael cera, with a tie-in video game made by canadian game developer ubisoft montreal, it basically has all the markings of a canadian awesomefest. and i am nothing if not patriotic. eh, oh, canada go! or something.
- the green hornet (december 22, 2010) - i think the idea to cast seth rogen as a superhero is downright inspired. also, it's directed by michel gondry who, as a white person, i am apparently expected to like. god, i am so predictable.
- the green lantern (june 17, 2011) - another green superhero played by a canadian (this time, my secret boyfriend ryan reynolds). this could be good, will probably be terrible. i don't really care; by 2011 i imagine we will all be living in little pods on pluto and downloading movies directly into our heads to watch on the back of our eyelids. so if i don't like it, i guess i can just open my eyes and watch the pod-people/plutonian war going on outside my window instead. now that's entertainment!