- "you take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street....or sticking your face in a fan."
- "it's true what they say: cops and women don't mix. it's like eating a spoonful of drano; sure, it'll clean you out, but it'll leave you hollow inside."
- "some guys make shoe laces, others lay sod, some make a very good living neutering animals. me, I'm a cop."
- "i am serious... and don't call me shirley."
- "like a midget at a urinal, i was going to have to stay on my toes."
- "the last thing he said to me, 'doc,' he said, 'some time when the crew is up against it, and the breaks are beating the boys, tell them to get out there and give it all they got and win just one for the zipper. i don't know where i'll be then, doc,' he said, 'but i won't smell too good, that's for sure.'"
- "i haven't seen anything like this since the anita bryant concert"
- "the truth hurts ... maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts."
- "crazy? some people think walking down the street muttering to yourself is crazy. i'll tell you what crazy is: crazy is walking down the street with half a cantaloupe on your head, saying: 'i'm a hamster. i'm a hamster.' that's crazy."
- "i like my sex the way i play basketball: one on one with as little dribbling as possible."
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
you guys, isn't it weird that i was just watching airplane and then leslie nielsen dies? it kind of makes me want to watch a katy perry video.