how to build the world's most dangerous backyard waterslide

it doesn't look that menacing while it's dry

1. pump water from lake to reservoir built on camp deck
2. place person on tube in reservoir and wait for it to fill
   
   
   chase is way more patient than me 
3. raise gate and flush person down slide to lake
   
   
   um, WHEE! 
4. decide reservoir is too small, so build it up so it holds about ten times more volume
5. send adventurous but unsuspecting cousin's girlfriend down first to test it out
6. if the test run is successful, send substantially larger cousin down next
   
   
   he might go a little bit faster than the seven year old girl 
7. if this is unsuccessful (ie. if he plows into the lake at top speed, digs in, and flips the tube, resulting in a scraped-up back, a sore tailbone, and several days worth of whining), decide that you need to build a ramp at the bottom to help the tube transition more smoothly.
8. decide that the best way to test this out is by sending both cousin and girlfriend down on the tube at the same time.
9. laugh maniacally when tube flips, girlfriend lands on head on the bottom of the lake, and cousin lands on top of girlfriend.
10. float around the lake for a little while, then go sit in the sauna.
see you next year, summer